


snape's classroom is fricking destroyed: the movie

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, LEGO Harry Potter (Video Games)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Gen, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29681523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: i have no idea, man
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley
Kudos: 5
Collections: Anonymous





	snape's classroom is fricking destroyed: the movie

**Author's Note:**

> this is so stupid i'm sorry lmao--

"Turn to page th—"

From beyond the door in the damp corridors came a horrendous banging noise.

Snape glared at the door before returning to staring down the nervous class of first-years. "Page thir—"

_CRASH!_

It was closer this time. He slammed his copy of the textbook down on the front desk just as the door to the Potions classroom was literally kicked down and in came his three least favorite first-year students in the entire school. 

"How kind of you to finally join us," Snape began, inwardly calculating how many points he was going to deduct from Gryffindor for their being late to class. The golden trio paid no attention to this and began casting spells haphazardly in every direction. Papers went flying, students ducked for cover, and Snape was frozen at the front of the classroom, his brain seemingly lagging. Wait— but—?!

There was no verbal lashing that could even compete with this.

Harry jumped onto a desk, and then onto the top of a shelf full of ingredients, shouting over the clamor to get Ron's attention. "HEY," he said, "THERE'S A BLUE ONE UP HERE!"

"YEAH!" Ron cheered, aiming his wand and destroying the shelving unit. Harry jumped off and stood back to watch, hardly even reacting as splinters of wood rained down around them.

Hermione was stuck in the corner, seemingly walking into the wall. "Guys? I think I'm glitching, the joystick isn't working," she said. 

"Have you tried unplugging and re-plugging the nunchuck?" Harry asked.

"Good idea!" She suddenly stopped walking, stood there for a few seconds, and then turned around and began jumping around the room. "It worked!"

Snape took in a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry, has my teaching here interrupted your ransacking?" he hissed.

None of them even turned to look at him. Harry had raised his wand and pointed it at the splinters of wood that used to be a shelf, and said " _Wingardium leviosa!_ " The class watched in amazement as purple light surrounded the wood and it was _transfigured_ into a staircase. 

That— but that was a different spell, how did he— 

Snape felt a migraine coming on. "Enough!" he shouted. "What has gotten into you three?! You've destroyed my classroom, ignored your professor, and are acting positively insane! What is the _meaning_ of this?"

Again, they weren't listening. Ron ran up the transfigured staircase and jumped off the highest point. "We're now a thousand studs richer," he announced as he fell ten feet and landed without even bending his knees. How had that not hurt?

"What's the objective here, anyway?" Hermione asked. "I don't see anything here to do..."

Harry shot what looked like a tiny ball of fire at the nearest lantern. It blazed brighter, and then he ran around in a circle underneath it. "No idea, but... Light the lanterns, it said 'one out of six.' We might be able to afford buying Lord Voldemort soon!" 

The entire class gasped and visibly recoiled at that.

Five dim lanterns were blasted by an unfamiliar spell and now burned brighter. For some reason, the trio ran in circles under each one after they shot at it, and then cheered when they'd done that. A red box appeared out of nowhere, and Hermione snatched it. 

"Where the heck is the owl?" she questioned the empty air.

Snape attempted to cast the Stupefying Charm on Harry when he saw him aim his wand-turned-weapon of mass destruction at the front of the room. It bounced off the Boy Who Lived seemingly without any effect.

"Dang it, Snape, I lost a heart!" he complained, letting a brilliant white light erupt from the end of his wand and absolutely destroying the blackboard behind the bewildered professor. "YO, HERMIONE! I found the owl!"

Snape vaulted over his desk to avoid the debris. 

Carrying the red box, Hermione approached where he'd just been and gave the box to a white owl that was sitting on a perch and _definitely hadn't been there before_. The red box turned into a letter, which Hermione gave to the owl. Once it flew off, the three paused and stared at the empty air.

"Coin magnet?" Ron said after a second of awkward silence. "Sweet!"

And then the three ran from the room.

Shaking slightly, Snape followed and paused at the door of the mauled classroom, watching as they ran up to a ghost he was sure he'd never seen before. The ghost gestured for the three to follow him before floating pleasantly along down the hall. Harry followed behind, chanting "Ghost coin! Ghost coin!" While Ron and Hermione blasted every single torch in the stone hallway. 

Snape didn’t know what had just happened, and he didn’t even _want_ to know anymore.


End file.
